The crab apples on the tree outside my window are going over, the promise of an Indian Summer lasted all of a day, and I know I’m not the only one finding it just that bit harder to get out of bed. On a recent and particularly grey morning, when the fuzziness in my head seemed a perfect reflection of the sky outside the window, my brain helpfully supplied me with the term SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. And I felt myself bristling at the implication in that term that to have a felt response – be it physical, emotional, or even spiritual – to the cycles of the natural world must be a “problem”. (more…)
A few nights ago myself, my beloved, and some rather brilliant friends were sat round the dinner table, discussing the concept of shame. The conversation flowed from the semantics of the word, through to the embodied experience, and touched upon everything from fear of being seen to be vulnerable, through to the challenge of asking for what one truly desires. The topic felt particularly poignant for me; the last month or so has been something of dive in the deep end of the shame pool. (more…)
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself enthusing with a regular client over a new analogy we had come up with for self care – one that utilised mathematical parabola to demonstrate the necessity of rest and reflection for expansion and well-being.
This got me thinking again on a topic that has been floating around in the old cerebrum for some time. I recalled what my teacher often says about how our “biases” – our personal and particular bugbears, passions, and rants – influence and shape our work.
For me, some biases have been there since I first started out in my field, and have grown increasingly stronger with time – such as a need to work towards inclusivity for all genders, bodies, and orientations. Some I have discovered and nurtured along the way – like a talent for supporting clients in sitting with what I call the “difficult questions”, and making peace with extremes of emotion.
And some… Some have just sort of appeared out of the corner of my eye, and come along for the ride whether I planned it or not.
One of these, which I have become more aware of in the last year, is the fact that I, apparently, teach tantra for geeks. (more…)
Conscious self-pleasuring is something I find myself recommending to clients and participants on a regular basis. With this post, I hope to create a resource on the subject, exploring why I believe it’s a vital part of the individual sexual journey, what gifts it holds for intimacy, and how one might go about it. So grab your lube of choice, and lets get started. (more…)
I was recently scouring the web in search of resources on the subject of energetic genitals for a client, and was rather disappointed to find good ol’ Google drawing a blank. In this post, I intend to take that blank, and run with it as the perfect excuse to lavish some wordy attention on one of my favourite kinks: Energy fucking. (more…)
I have a client I haven’t seen in a while today. The space is prepped, the kettle is on, and I’m chatting to God.
“Anything I need to know? What do they need from me today?”
I ask the question, and then simply listen.
“Be the oasis. Be warm, be loving. Remember – Unconditional Positive Regard. That’s what they most need today.” (more…)
I know that, for many of you, that single syllable inevitably evokes an intense and complex emotional response, likely including feelings such as shame, doubt, resistance, and even anger and fear. There you were, happily googling away in search of opportunities for liberated and sensual self-expression and exploration, and then up pops that damn word again, and all those old voices come right back to haunt you. (more…)