Tag Archive: conscious sexuality

The Side Effects of Conscious Sex

In last month’s post, I attempted to create a working definition for Conscious Sexuality. This is how far I got:

To engage in Conscious Sex is to engage and commit your whole self to the erotic experience – to endeavour to become as fully present as you can to what is moving in you in each moment, and to what is moving in anyone else engaging in the experience with you. It is to be present enough to what is moving in the erotic body, or the space between erotic bodies, to allow an infinite number of possibilities to unfold there – including what might be described as miracles.

In this month’s post, I’m going to talk about some of the side effects I see unfolding as a result of practicing Conscious Sex. These are drawn from experiences reported by my clients, workshop participants, and colleagues, as well as my own. The side effects I’ll be exploring here are:

Integration – Intimacy – Ecstasy – An Expanded Definition of Sex (more…)

A Definition of Conscious Sex

Recently, I found myself sitting in on a conversation about sex and spirituality, noticing I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. As it was the end of a long day, I didn’t pin down what was making me so restless until much later, when I was back in my own space. It was then I realised what I felt had been missing from the discussion:

The term “sex” was being used as though everyone knew what it meant – and, despite the fact that it was being discussed within a spiritual context, no distinction had been made between the physical act of intercourse, and what I might term Conscious Sexuality. (more…)

Air, Water, Fire, Earth

When we first began, it seemed appropriate that an event based on the four elements should begin with their invocation. Or at least, it did to me, with my pagan witchy roots, and the same could be said of the core members of the team who were helping me make this new vision manifest.
Two years on, the circle has to be two people deep in order to fit into the venue, but still we turn together to the East, West, South, and North, and invite the elements of each quarter into the space. The participants are encouraged to notice each element as it manifests outside of them, and also as it manifests within. Later, they will find their way to the spaces inspired by and infused with each element; they’ll dip strawberries in the chocolate melting in Earth, join a cuddle puddle in Water, boogie down into their bodies on the dance floor in Air, and frolic and make love in Fire.
And this is just one of the rituals I hold of which the four elements form a core ingredient. In the last few years, I’ve found myself blessing and binding couples with them in handfastings; calling upon them to cleanse the recipient of a rite of passage as they stepped through a ritual portal into their new identity; and, as my second and final year of Interfaith Ministry training gets underway, I find them making a seemingly inevitable appearance in my every ceremony assignment.
But what I’m reflecting on today are the ways in which I’ve noticed Air, Water, Fire, Earth entering into my personal practice again; how they support and sustain me, the gifts they offer when I seek to be cleansed, healed, and nourished. And so I wanted to close this loose triptych of posts about finding spiritual and sexual healing in the face of this mad year with something of an ode to those elements, and a reminder to lean back, to breathe, drink, surrender, and ground yourselves in them. (more…)

Tantra for Geeks

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself enthusing with a regular client over a new analogy we had come up with for self care – one that utilised mathematical parabola to demonstrate the necessity of rest and reflection for expansion and well-being.

This got me thinking again on a topic that has been floating around in the old cerebrum for some time. I recalled what my teacher often says about how our “biases” – our personal and particular bugbears, passions, and rants – influence and shape our work.

For me, some biases have been there since I first started out in my field, and have grown increasingly stronger with time – such as a need to work towards inclusivity for all genders, bodies, and orientations. Some I have discovered and nurtured along the way – like a talent for supporting clients in sitting with what I call the “difficult questions”, and making peace with extremes of emotion.

And some… Some have just sort of appeared out of the corner of my eye, and come along for the ride whether I planned it or not.

One of these, which I have become more aware of in the last year, is the fact that I, apparently, teach tantra for geeks. (more…)

Self Pleasure, Self Heal – Reclaiming the Magic of Masturbation

Conscious self-pleasuring is something I find myself recommending to clients and participants on a regular basis. With this post, I hope to create a resource on the subject, exploring why I believe it’s a vital part of the individual sexual journey, what gifts it holds for intimacy, and how one might go about it. So grab your lube of choice, and lets get started. (more…)