igniting intimacy

Mapping the Inner Landscape – some creative prompts

I have always loved thresholds, and those liminal moments that precede the opening of a new chapter, or the beginning of a new year. One of life’s planners, in recent years I have embraced the time betwixt the midwinter festivities and the new year as a time for reflecting on what has been, dreaming what might be, and setting intentions for what is coming. My closest friend and I are developing a tradition of getting together (virtually for the last two years) to use workbooks and prompts like the Year Compass for this purpose, and to share our findings and dreams with each other.

So as spring begins to unfold for another year in the tenacious scrap of woodland opposite my front door, I thought I would share with you some of the more creative invitations I have extended to clients, or used myself, for mapping personal experiences and inner landscapes – for the purpose of reflection, integration, or setting intention, and sometimes all three. Like the tools my friend and I spend the last days of December grumbling and giggling over, these could be done solo, or shared with a close person or in a therapeutic setting if you so wish. All that is required are the writing/drawing implements of your choosing, a blank surface (give yourself plenty of space), and the permission to play. …

Sex Magic for Making Change

Change. I’m used to being surrounded by folks who want it in one form or another – from my coaching clients, to my close people who are creatives, activists, and/or magicians. But in this last year, that clarion call for change seems to have become universal, even as the changes each of us desire can appear vastly diverse. From global movements calling for long overdue shifts in how we treat our planet and each other, to the folks who just really want a hug Right Now, it seems so many of us want to be living through different stories, personally and collectively – and we’re struggling to know how to begin to tell them.

I’ll be honest: in the midst of all these “urgencies” (as Donna Haraway names them) it feels like a strange time to be talking about sex magic. In her introduction to my book, Igniting Intimacy: Sex Magic Rituals for Radical Living and Loving, Barbara Carrellas wrote: “[Sex] Magic is the art of transformation. It’s the ability to imagine an alternative existence and then create and sustain that existence.” But what does that mean at a time like this? How can we draw on sex magical practices in ways that feel like they have meaning in the face of personal and collective exhaustion, frustration, and grief – not to mention the sheer size and volume of change that is calling to be brought forth? …

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